Saturday, November 29, 2008

Is He A Keeper?

Is He A Keeper?

Wow.. so you have found him.. or He found you.. you both click.. and it's like the most wonderful thing in the world.. but how do you tell if your guy is a keeper, and that it's worth it to be in a relationship with him?

Or you both are in a relationship but you have some fights and arguments.. conflicts.. so now you are not sure that you should have him in your life anymore..

Here are some signs that means he's worth hanging on to.

In General:

1) Does He Has Feelings For You?
Do you believe he has deep interest for you? Or is he just having fun with you?
Sure, sometime you might not know for sure whether he love you but if he ever said that he likes you or shows that he is always around for you, it means he has feelings for you.
When you first meet him, you should feel that he wants you. It may be conveyed by a look, a touch, a compliment or attention to detail. It should be backed up by his willingness to make a plan and move the relationship forward. However, don't be mislead by constant calling, e-mailing and text-messaging. If he hasn't meet you in person, then it's not true interest since he cannot touch you, see you, adore you or get to know you. If he has no feeling for you, you can stop right here and move on.. you shouldn't waste your time anymore.. but if he does.. he might be worth while, so read on..


2) Do You Respect Him?
Sometimes he does something that you admire and you think he is smart. You respect his advice and you respect his decision. You think he is able to be a good father to your un-born child. A role model for younger generation. Or you simply trust that he can protect you and handle life in a good way. In general, you think the best of him.


3) Is There Chemistry?
Your heartbeat goes faster at times when you see him (if it's newly started) or just receiving his sms makes you smile. You actually miss his kisses and longing for his touch (if you are already in a long-run relationship). You laugh at his jokes even though all your friends think they are not funny. You
get frustrated when he doesn't remembers your favorite movie star but when your best friend doesn't remember, you don't really mind.


4) Do You Have Things In Common?
You both like to watch movie although he prefers action packed but you prefer comedy. You both like outdoor activities although you like hiking and he likes surfing. You have similar backgrounds, cultures and education. Opposites attract but you and him should share some common ground.


His Character/Personality:

1) He Is Honest & Trustworthy
You know he is honest. He says what he means and mean what he says. He tell the truth. What he tells you about himself actually matches with reality. If he says he is out with guy friends, he is doing just that and not with other girls partying. If he doesn't know how to fix your laptop problem, he tells you so but help you to find solutions.


2) He Is Responsible
He goes to work and make sure he does his job well. He take care himself and others with or without you. Life doesn't collapse if you are not around. He can handle it well. He take note and learn from mistakes instead of condemning others and put the blames on them. If you give him tasks, you know he will take the accountabilities and handle them the best he can.


3) He Is Matured
He won't get angry for small issues. He can control his temper. He can think rationally and analyse things by himself. He doesn't act like small kids and expect things to be done for him. He is well behaved and matured in thinking.


4) He Is Confident and Accomplished
He may not be the President but at least he has accomplished something. If he goes to college, now he has a good job. If he inherits family business, he manages to run it properly. He constantly learning and improves himself, thus he has confident in what he is doing. He is emotionally confident too. He doesn't feel 'attacked' if you say Brad Pitt is sexy. He is confident with the way he is.


5) He Is Consistent
He has friends and you have yours. When he is with his friends he doesn't turn out to be somebody else. You are sure that he is the same person you know and love whether apart or together.


6) He takes care of himself and his family and friends
He doesn't get involve in Drugs and Criminal activities. He take cares of his family andfriends in need. He values family and friends. He appreciates them and have solid relationship with them. If he can't treat them well, chances are he won't treat you well after some time.


When he is with you:

1) He Keeps His Promise/Agreement
If he says he will pick you, he picks you. Or if he is late he will notify you immediately. If he promise you thing, he will fulfill the promise or you know he is working on it to be realised soon enough.


2) He Is Understanding
He likes you for who you are. Even though sometimes you do not comply to his expectations or you have a bad day, mood swing, say something that he does not like or do something that makes him upset, his adoration to you remain steady and his view of you still same. He forgives you and didn't make small thing big. He won't be judgemental and condemn you just because your views differ from his. Instead, he will be happy that you have courage to voice your own points.


3) He Trusts You
He believes what you say. He tolerates the unknown and the unexpected because he trusts you. He won't pin you down or spy on you. Instead, he will let you have your freedom and boundaries. He lets you hang out with your friends and do the things that you like yourself. He trust that you can take care yourself although sometimes he helped you out. When you talk to him, you know he didn't shut you up. He listens to you and shares your feelings.


4) He Respects You
He doesn't humiliate you in front of the friends, family or public. He respects your decision and ask for your opinions. He doesn't call you funny or bad names. He calls you nice name. He won't leave you wondering where he is, what he is doing. Or leaves you hanging, just to prove a point. Even if he has more money, power or status, he won't make you feel small, useless or nothing without him. Instead, he makes you feel good and respected. He is willing to listen and meet your needs.


5) He Opens-Up To You
He share his feelings and his deepest secrets with you. He tells you thing that he likes and doesn't like. He lets you in his world of fantasy and fear. He is not shame to discuss his problems or weaknesses. He lets you read him like an open book. He doesn't mind you interfere with his space. He lets you have his house's keys so that you won't have to wait for him so long outside whenever you go over his place and he hasn't come back yet. He lets you see his baby photos and his ugly photos taken during school days.


6) He Loves To Be With You
He enjoys being with you.
He really wants to be with you to share time and experiences with you, even if that means waiting for you at the saloon while you're getting a hair cut. He is happy to hear your voice, receiving your sms or get an email from you. His face lights up whenever he sees you. He wants you to be around while he is reading or working and won't think that you are disturbing him at all.


7) He Is Willing To Make You Happy
He lets you win the argument not because he has no stand but because he wants you to be happy. If the supermarket is 15km away but you think is 30km, he lets you win. He cooks for you. He is willing to wear the shirt you bought for him although he really dislike wearing bright colour. He is willing to compromise and make some changes if it means you will be happy and the relationship will move forward. He buys you things and he tries to cheer you up when you are down. He helps you clean up the house, walks the dogs, water the plants when you are away on a holidays with your friends. He is a keeper if he do these.


8) He Takes Care Of You & Your Family
He helps you carry things when go shopping. He picks you up for late night movie so you won't have to drive at night. He checks on you to see if you are safely home if you go back yourself. He brings food for you when you are sick. If your car breaks down or your house having plumbing problems, he tries to fix it even though he knows nuts about them. He makes sure you are comfortable when meeting up his friends or family or when in a business party. He doesn't mind spending money on you. He even extends to care for your family and friends. He is definately a keeper if he does this.


9) He Tries To Impress You
He dresses up. Hygienic and looking smart to impress you. He scores better whenever you are around watching him play tennis. He learns how to cook for you. He dances some complicated moves for you to see. He talks business and tries to proof or hint that he is financially stable. He learns your language in 2 months time.


10) He is not afraid to be seen with you.
He is not afraid to be seen with you. In fact, he wants to declare to the world that he knows you and want you to be his. He doesn't care what people thinks, he knows he is happy to be with you. If he needs to keep you as secret, it will be backed up by very solid reasons. If he truly loves you, he won't keep you as secret at all. Whatever challenges, he will face it boldly. He has plans to be with you for real.









1 comment:

johnnychong said...

Thank for sharing this note.
Seem like I has lots thing to be improve to show my truthfull of life being a real person in good relationship.
I will pray hard to ask God for blessing & wish you has a great joy of life.
God Bless.